Stage Moms and how to avoid them!

So I am now full swing into the world of acting and everything that goes along with it, and no it is not me that is acting it is my kids,  jeez what we won't do for our kids, for example the other day I was sitting on a set while my 8 year old was acting and the ultimate stage mom came walking over, you know the one, she looks like she just came from Sephora after trying on every bit of makeup they sell, she had so much perfume on, my eyes watered and her heels were so high I thought I was gonna see a weeble that wobbled but did fall down, well I say weeble cause she was as round as one, now before you think I am mean, I really am not, but it was a funny site so what else could I think, anyway I am sitting there thinking c'mon you are there for your kid do you really think a producer is going to look at you and say that's it Mr Scorses I found our next Angelina Jolie,  NOT!!

Back to my point, I see her coming straight at me and I start to cringe, yikes what should I do? Is it too late to pretend to be sleeping? Can I pick up my magazine and hide behind it? Nope she spotted me as an open target and she was determined to tell me her life story, and so it was unavoidable, she walked right up to me and started the dreaded stage mom rant, oh for those of you that don't know what that is it's the "oh my daughter or son (whichever or both) is such a great actor this show is beneath her I don't know why her agent would sent her or him out on it," 

 I start rolling my eyes but being so self absorbed she does not notice she keeps going on, "I was a star when I was younger" ( I sit there thinking HMMM never heard of you) she goes on to tell me of her community theater days and how sometimes big producers would come to watch her to her how great an actress she was, So of course I have to be the smart alec and say "Wow did you ever do anything real?" And again she doesn't even notice, she is so into her story

I think I can make an escape so I look to my left and see an opening, a restroom is down the hall I can use that as an excuse, so I try to break in and say I have to excuse myself but she doesn't even flinch to acknowledge that she hears me, so I quickly get up and start to walk away, when I hear her say hey! I wasn't done with my story, I slowly turn around thinking what do I want to say to her, so I look her straight in the eye and say, " I'm sorry were you talking to me, I was sleeping with my eyes open as I sometimes do and never heard a thing " As I walked away with a grin on my face I heard another mom say to her friends "look the other way don't look at her, oh no she sees us as the cycle begins all over again with the stage mom from Hell.